Circumstance

I’m curious of you
Of what lies beneath your surface
The source of the glow that comes through
And tickles me
Right where I need it
Right where it’s long overdue

And I hear rumours of ‘the one’
But I’ve yet to find that someone
Who completes me like no one else
Coz so much depends
On paths and on choices and
Likings and circumstance

Seek me out
I’ll be waiting for you
And I don’t expect a fancy line
And I’ll tell ya
Smiles will get you so much
Further than hairdos
And sincerity will save us time
Coz I’m tired of games and of
Misunderstandings and of all
All these rules
Yeah, let’s make it simple
Let’s just make it plain
I’ll start
I’m curious of you…….

© Nan Espeseth 2004

Halfway there

I was halfway there and a bit scared
Coz nothing’s ever what you think
And when you use big words just to get heard
You forget you’re exaggerating
But the sun was shining there above the clouds
And the beauty of it distracted my mind
And a feeling so immense
Of the freedom that I’d have

And we’re halfway there
Coz we push hard
But we’re unsure of what to think
Coz our wishful state of mind
Looses focus when we blink
And what’s true of what they say
And what of it is just white lies
Coz it’s what you do when you feel obliged
To be polite and kind

Halfway there
And I’m scared

©Nan Espeseth 2002

In This State

It’s when I find myself in this state
I agree with everything I argue
And all your opinions have to wait
Coz I’m not finished talkin’

It might not be ‘coz I’m right
Or ‘bout how many shots I get in
It might not be how I fight
As long as I win

It’s only when I’m in this state
I argue when I agree
And I might not be absolutely right
But at least I have your attention

It might not be ‘coz I’m right
Or ‘bout how many shots I get in
It might not be how I fight
As long as I win

© Nan Espeseth 2002

Never The Same

we’re lying head to head in my beds that are usually placed so awkwardly
but tonight I think they’re placed perfectly
and we just lie there and talk and the only time we touch
is when we pass the last cigarette that’s left
and you look so beautiful, I think I see your aura
yeah, it’s shining like a glory ‘round your head
and I’d like to touch your face, but if I touch your face I’ll break the spell
yeah, I’ll break the magic in the air

and you would never look at me the same
‘coz you’d know that I care for you
and not the way you want me to

and now the way the situation is I don’t know if I’ll ever find the bliss
that I’ve painted rose-red in my mind
and, you know, I always fuck things up and nothing ever clicks
when it comes to the expectations that I have
of what the other person will say or do
and now the other person is you
and I’d like to tell you how it is, but I’m scared of what I’d miss
and what you’d think

and that you would never look at me the same
‘coz you’d know that I care for you
and now the way you want me to

and now there’s a new year and we don’t know what it’ll bring
will we be able to make up for our sins
empty out our pockets and let them breath for a while
before we start shoving secrets back in
and the winter has painted the ground white and even though it’s night
I see a shimmer of white
and I know you’ll be leaving soon and take the glory with you
but the magic will still be hangin’ for a while

and will you ever look at me the same
or will you know that I care for you
and not the way you want me to

will you ever look at me the same
or will you know that I care for you
and you don’t really want me to

and will you ever look at me the same
or will you know
will you know

© Nan Espeseth 1998

No. 33

There is only one way to describe what I felt
As I wandered (wondered) off in ambivalence
Coz you scared me if you’d dared me I would not have replied
Coz I was too unsure of what this was and you were of no help

Maybe it was because I contemplated too much
Ran things though my mind never to find a logical answer
So I left you like I should do you still think of me
Or am I just a faded memory
No.33

So there is only one word to describe how I felt
As I wandered (wondered) off in ambivalence
And I left you like I should do you still think of me
Or am I just a faded memory
No.33

© Nan Espeseth 2000

Another Song

There’s a new song in the charts
That’s taking the world by storm
It’s one we all love to hate
But we catch ourselves singin’ along

And maybe I don’t hear all the notes
Maybe it the song’s not whole
But from where I am listening
All I hear are discords

How can they sing so violently
When their harmonies don’t fit?

Maybe it’s not my place to oppose
When it’s their pride that’s at stake
Coz who’s to decide who’s to deny
Who holds the key and
Who’s the most qualified to define

How can they sing so violently
When their harmonies don’t fit?

© Nan Espeseth 2003

More Time

If I had more time I’d write endless songs
If I’d get enough sleep I’d concentrate more
On what I co and when and where
Not so agitated and disorganised
I’d be smarter and more coherent in my speech
I’d solve problems without hesitation
I’d know immediately without uncertainty
If I’d met you

Coz maybe I have

But you were overlooked in my dazed and distorted consciousness
And my timing was all wrong and my awareness level less
Maybe I knew you long ago but I’ve forgotten
Coz my memory faded and I just wasn’t all there

If my decisions decided to be controlled
I’d be more in charge my life easier to mould
And the sand wouldn’t just slip out of my hands
I’d have a tighter grip

Feet firm on the ground

And in confidence I’d rise and my vision would be clearer
And the image in your eyes would be me in bright colours
And my actions would speak loud
And my voice sing even louder coz I’m all here

But for now I’ll just sing a melody
And dream of how it might be

© Nan Espeseth 2003

Resonate

You sound to me like an ecco
of what you did before
I fell in love with your youth
your golden ore
You rendered your mind
and it resonate still
I'd go back in time to hear you from
your window sill

© Nan Espeseth 2004