Never The Same

we’re lying head to head in my beds that are usually placed so awkwardly
but tonight I think they’re placed perfectly
and we just lie there and talk and the only time we touch
is when we pass the last cigarette that’s left
and you look so beautiful, I think I see your aura
yeah, it’s shining like a glory ‘round your head
and I’d like to touch your face, but if I touch your face I’ll break the spell
yeah, I’ll break the magic in the air

and you would never look at me the same
‘coz you’d know that I care for you
and not the way you want me to

and now the way the situation is I don’t know if I’ll ever find the bliss
that I’ve painted rose-red in my mind
and, you know, I always fuck things up and nothing ever clicks
when it comes to the expectations that I have
of what the other person will say or do
and now the other person is you
and I’d like to tell you how it is, but I’m scared of what I’d miss
and what you’d think

and that you would never look at me the same
‘coz you’d know that I care for you
and now the way you want me to

and now there’s a new year and we don’t know what it’ll bring
will we be able to make up for our sins
empty out our pockets and let them breath for a while
before we start shoving secrets back in
and the winter has painted the ground white and even though it’s night
I see a shimmer of white
and I know you’ll be leaving soon and take the glory with you
but the magic will still be hangin’ for a while

and will you ever look at me the same
or will you know that I care for you
and not the way you want me to

will you ever look at me the same
or will you know that I care for you
and you don’t really want me to

and will you ever look at me the same
or will you know
will you know

© Nan Espeseth 1998